So, after weeks of talking the Dot Org X1 finally had its first game. Organised by Hunk of Spam, we were playing the formidable Drowned in Sound team. A forum with hundreds of members and a selection policy that involved cruelly leaving some players out due to failed drugs tests.
We were given the away team changing room which left a lot to be desired. The atmosphere was strangely tense. Was this because it was the first time we were in a room together? Or was it because we were faced with a semi naked Seth getting changed? Or was it because we worried what Sam might be packing below?
We all got outside and started to get a feel for the ball. There were still some nerves but an inspiring team talk from HoS and a genius idea of throwing a ball round the circle so everyone knew each others name raised the confidence in the team.
The team lined up as we felt our way into the game. DiS had a bit more knowledge of the pitch and each other but Dot Org more than matched the competition. Absorbing the early pressure as Mike mopped up in midfield while Mardous and Conkers looked to control the midfield and Luke and Tom sweeping anything up in defense. It could be argued Dot Org had the better chances with Tomo hitting the side netting with a header from an early corner. The wing backs both providing valuable support while remaining absolutely solid, but more about them later.
Then, disaster struck. A freekick was given to the oppo, the referee who had been favouring DiS in the early exchanges gave another soft freekick. It was put into a dangerous area. Like he'd been doing all afternoon Tomo was the first to the header only for Super Keef to make a late call and an attacking player hounding him down. Tomo beat them all only for the ball to gently float its way into the empty net.
This could have seen the wall break down. It instead, inspired the boys. If they thought we were playing well in the first 20 minutes this was nothing compared to what happened. Confidence came from no where. Everyone looked assured on the ball. From the back we were building attacks. Tom and Luke looking to get the ball from the back and hit the wings or one of the midfield in space. Sam had also been brought on to the pitch, who, quite frankly, terrified the oppo. It looked like he had lost the ball several times only to come out with the ball amongst a cluster of bodies. Mardous was also becoming more of an influence. He was beating men with ease and pulling all the strings in the midfield with both the wingers looking to run at the retreating DiS defense. Then... Dot Org struck. After another incredible passage of play that resulted in most of the team touching the ball. Sam once again beat a man and slotted it through to Scott who shrugged off his hangover to cooly poke it into the bottom corner.
Dot Orgs confidence rose and PLF was keen to show that he wasn't just about simple goals. Josh, Jim and Scott combined well down the left when Scott had the ball in the corner with 2 men around him. In one turn that was Messi-esq he left both men in his wake, beat a 3rd and hit it across the goalmouth, collapsing in a heap as he did so, for Vagrant to cooly slot it home off a combination of his shin and ankle. Dot Org went wild, with our super fans roaring their delight.
Dot Org sniffed blood. Continuing to push forward with the defense even joining in attacks. Jim was drifting in causing problems while Orient was providing some natural width and giving some much needed pace to the team. A 3rd goal from Mardous came with a delightful throughball, gave Mardous the ball, who once again twist and turned his way past a couple of players before firing the ball into the far bottom corner of the goal. While all this was happening Tomo had received a horrific challenge from "Sunday" from the oppo who clattered into him 2 minutes after smashing the ball forward (which nearly resulted in a goal). The ref declining to book the player only because of the friendly spirit that had been shown so far.
We also had Vagrant miss an open goal, that was from the edge of the box. on his 2nd pint he was claiming it was 25 yards, on the 3rd pint it was around 30 and as he started the 4th he was claiming he was just in the oppo's half. By the end of the night he was probably claiming it was merely a clearance from our own goal line under immense pressure that he did well to get somewhere near the goal.
. The Dot Org boys couldn't quite believe it and DiS were becoming upset and weren't expecting for them to be getting the pasting they were getting. They were more rattled than Lee Wykes tambourine after a night with Simon Webbon in New Cross. The half time whistle couldn't come soon enough for the DiS, they had a couple of half chances and one rather good chance that Keef did superbly well to block as the defense got a bit too carried away pushing forward.
At half time dot org were in a bouyant mood but knew they had to be careful. Straight from kick off dot org were careless and very nearly let sideshow Bob sneak through on goal. After the initial shock dot org started showing a bit more composure but weren't getting the space that they had in the first half.
A ball into space enabled PLF once again to chase it down, laying it across only for the covering defender to slot it in to the empty goal showing Vagrant how it should be done.
It was pretty much one way traffic at this point with the tired legs of Dot Org starting to show. Tomo managed to lose his own ball when time wasting by blasting it into a tree, salt rubbed into the wound when he realised he'd left his favourite hoodie in the now locked changing rooms.
Captain Supreme, HoS subbed himself and the formation became a bit disjointed and dot org just couldn't get hold of the ball for any great lengths despite the fact the local young ruffians on the side of the pitch had taken to calling Mardous Ryan Giggs.
Sideshow Bobs pace was causing us real problems in defense. He thought he'd won a penalty when taking off from the top board and entering the water with barely a splash being made despite the tripple somersault... I mean when he fell over after losing the ball. He was dropping deep and make some very clever runs going forward. With 25 minutes to go he got between Seth and Tomo and beat Keef with a neat finish. DiS were throwing men forward and dot org were losing their shape and another goal was almost inevitable. Dot org failed to clear the ball and Henrik laced/shanked the ball into the top corner from a volley at the end of the box.
The pressure continued to pile on. Josh and Seth as the wing backs were struggling and had given up trying to keep up. Josh deciding he would stand in the way and use his considerable bulk while Seth went for the more loving approach by cuddling his winger.
Luke came back into the centre back and helped secure things up. Keef was still required to make a couple of fine saves in typical Kamikaze fashion. Dot org were defending valiantly but there were hints that the referee was looking to make things even. First warning Tomo that he nearly gave away a penalty when making a solid defensive clearance and then taken out after by the oncoming striker, and then when making a perfect last ditch tackle saying it was "this" close from being the penalty if he missed the ball. He didn't miss the ball so the point was irrelevant. Another dubious freekick was given, and with the dot org defense keeping one eye on the oncoming referee looking to score a last minute header, Keef came out to push the ball clear making another fine save, with the attacker tumbling over him. The ball went clear and despite a fine goal line clearance the referee had given the penalty... a gentle bit of sledging about "make sure you don't hit the kids behind the goal" and Keef dancing on the goal line resulted in the ball ending up somewhere near Watford. This gave dot org the motivation to valiantly hold on for the last few minutes and celebrate a famous victory.
The game was played in terrific spirit. No one got carried away and everyone had a bit of a laugh and all of DiS were, well, sound.
I hope no one takes any offense to this report. It is all meant in jest.
Particularly the referee who actually had a very good game.
Drowned in Sound performed fantastically for the last half hour but we destroyed them for a 25 minute period and took our chances.
We'll look forward to the rematch.
All of dot org are class by the way. The last few weeks have been some of dot orgs finest moments.
In typical Libertines fashion we started as a blinder, nearly threw it all away only to hold on to make a triumphant return.
by Tomo Meadowcroft
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