Players

Super Keef

A goalkeeper of the highest quality, known for his gutsy challenges when faced with a one on one situation. Has as mane of a lion and kicks the ball like one too. Never been beaten from the penalty spot. Is ideal for comic photo's where the keeper is the smallest player. During any conversation will somehow talk about the days he was in Bloc Party. Won Player Of The Tournament and hasn't kept going on about it since. Some people drop soap in the showers, not our Keef, for he drops his towel, into the drain.











Seth

Yo! Our Essex boy is also our right back. Never one to duck out of a tackle and if you kick the ball passed him he'll do anything to stop the man, including giving him a friendly hug. Seth also provided .Orgmund with the kit which is useful as otherwise we'd be playing starkers. A word of warning to any future or current players, don't turn up if you're going to be late, especially if you've got a beard otherwise Seth is going to bollock you and you might go missing.

Tomo

.Org's very own John Terry, although he hasn't yet retired from international football. A tenacious and towering centre back. Has a tendency to bark out orders and bollock the whole team, before scoring an own goal. Dangerous with the ball at his feet when given the time for some surging runs forward. Often bails early from post match drinks because his GF has him on a leash incase he goes astray like his role model....John Terry. Borussia .Orgmunds captain fantastic, one game captained, one game lost. Keep it up Boss.











Burton

Not much is known about his footballing ability but in his own words he is "fast as fuck and I play dirty. However I have no ball control, cannot dribble, shoot, take decent free kicks or throw ins". So he should fit in well then. Outside of football is recognised for sitting down on a sofa.
After one game it'll be a worthy time to notify, that he was correct in saying that he has no ball control, cannot dribble, shoot, take free kicks or throw ins, and I'd like to add, no positioning sense or knowledge on the rules of football.











Josh

Plays as a industrious left back despite only being able to stand on his left foot, former rugby player so he's a beast. Fellow defender with brother Tomo. A superb man marker who'll never let his opponent breathe, often the first to crack open the beers after the match









Luke

Lazy defensive midfielder, injury prone. No photographic evidence he exists.








Jim

Our left winger has moments of brilliance, such as scoring 35 yard screamers, but is also prone to missing open goals. This Scotsman has pace to burn, is direct and can leave defenders on their backside after a bit of skill, and a good group bukkake. Reports are that he still hasn't taken a shit for 3 weeks seem to be true.

Rich

Compared to the likes of Ryan Giggs and George Clooney, our skilled midfielder is the source of most of .orgs creative play. Give him the ball at his feet and he'll do things only Tom Cleverley can do. A huge Man Utd fan since birth and as such will watch Man City in Arabic just to prove how much of a Manc he is.












Dan

Our box-to-box central midfielder. Strong in the tackle, devastating on the ball, controls the tempo of the game and makes surging runs into the box. This Yorkshire lad is a constant thorn for any opponents and is a hit with our japanese fan base of three marauding ladies who're lost. Often the victim of leg-breaking tackles and nose breaking balls in his face, yet carries on like the topboy he is.

Hemmo

Hemmo is somewhat of an enigma, it's hard to know quite what he's going to do next, even Hemmo doesn't quite know. This right winger certainly knows how to break the offside trap, and how to roll a joint in a pub without getting noticed, unfortunately he often gets caught when he sparks one up. A missing man since the Leyton Orient game, check any woodland areas or lakes near you.

Scott
Our lone frontman, no not fronting a sub par indie rockband, but a sub par indie football team. Scottie runs into the channels, offers up for the short ball, beats defenders but best of all he scores goals of his shins, especially when the ball if chucked at him from an angry goalkeeper. In recent games Scott has started to kick the ball with his feet, unfortunately this means most shots are flying wide, I'm sure in time he'll change his angles from his shin to feet.